A Death Wish


Not really a death wish, but more specifically, my wish for my death. 

I bet that gets attention.  Seriously, I know death is not to be on my terms, but on God’s, so, I have no intent of altering His plans there!  It is what will happen after my death that I feel I should consider.  What are my wishes for what is to happen when my life in this world ends?

Recently there have been more than a few unexpected deaths amongst friends and family. The mourning has been punctuated by the chaos and conflicts of differing opinions on what the dearly departed would have wanted for their final earthly get-together. There have been some who have had nothing more than a brief obituary in the local newspaper, others with split custody of their cremains, and a variety of funerals, and others with none of the above. All of these have led me to think of what I wish. And, what I do not wish.

I had to prepare my will a while ago, before a major surgery I had to undergo. It was a depressing undertaking to say the least. It was made even more depressing since I was in the midst of a very low place emotionally. Divorced, alone, broken, hopeless, confused, and very depressed. That doesn’t even scratch the surface of the sadness involved in writing a will for someone (me) who felt unworthy of any form of acknowledgement, in life, and definitely not in death. That will reflects that time in my life. It leaves my few worldly treasures to my grown children and ex-husband. I wrote out instructions to only use a minimal amount of my life insurance money to dispose of my body after death in the cheapest mode possible. I also clearly stated that I did not want any funeral or memorial service, and no celebration of my life to take place.

Since then, I have changed in so many ways. That surgery repaired my body’s crumbling spine and God and His army of angels healed everything else. My best therapy was immersion into a Celebrate Recovery ministry including a year long Step study. I have learned that I am not alone or broken, I am actually very blessed and highly favored by God. It has occurred to me that it is now time to write out another will making my new wishes clear.

New will is going to clearly describe my post life wishes:
“anointing of the sick” sacrament
Visitation with Rosary
Funeral mass – full mass at a Catholic church (not sure which one yet)
Simple burial in a simple casket (used as a guest book for notes to me as seen in “Unstoppable”) in cemetery near my dad
requests for many Mass intentions for the repose of my soul
Some fun celebrating – Irish wake-like
The worldly possessions and leftovers to my family and loved ones.
Look forward to seeing you all in heaven when the time comes!

“The sum of a person’s days is great
if it reaches a hundred years:
Like a drop of sea water,
like a grain of sand,
so are these few years among the days of eternity.
That is why the Lord is patient with us
and showers upon us his mercy.

The Lord sees and understands
that our death is grievous,
so he forgives us all the more.”
Sirach 18:7-10


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